I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
