a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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