Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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