At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
