you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
