You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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