..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
