So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
