yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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