wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
