Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
