Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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