come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
