we're blogging at a bar
i can't believe i had my finger in that
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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