you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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