Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
