just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't think brook has ever known best
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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