Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
