So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
