She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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