I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
