I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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