i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
