Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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