This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
