Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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