you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
