So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im holly from the hills drunk
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
