we have officially lost it.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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