You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
