dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We got so high we made milksteak
nutella sex= disaster
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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