Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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