Can i not drive my cunt home
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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