yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
