you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So much Jack, so little girl.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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