Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You pole danced in your parka.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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