your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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