This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So much rum. So many feels.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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