Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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