You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
