since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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