Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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