your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
