lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
