I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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