Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
