Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
