im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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