I bet he comes in French.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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