I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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