And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dick very happy bro
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
