guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
