you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How naked do you want me to be?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
