just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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