Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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