considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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