I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just had sex on a roof
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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