I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
