D3 body, D1 cock
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
